Santa Pause

Empty yourself of everything.
Let the mind rest at peace
Tao Te Ching

Stress is as much a part of holiday tradition as greeting cards, presents, and awkward moments at family gatherings. The conventional wisdom is that while this should be a time of peace on earth and good will towards men, it’s equally the time for discord and ill will.

How is it that a festive time turns into a carnival of tension and worry? Why is it that high blood pressure and tension headaches show up as much as eggnog and fruitcake? Does this have something to say about the holiday season, or is it a commentary on the way we see stress?

The holidays do not bring us stress; we bring stress to the holidays. If you look closely at the “gift” of inner tension, you will find that it was neatly packed, wrapped, and hand-delivered by none other than our self. This is very good news. It opens up the possibility that we can ask for, and if we have not been too naughty, receive, the present of inner peace this season.

Before going on, I want to share with you a Stressmas carol that I wrote to sum up how many of us feel as we move headlong into the not-so-silent nights ahead:
(Sung to the tune of Jingle Bells)

Jangled nerves, jangled nerves
Jangled all the day
Oh how sad it is to spend
Our holiday time this way

Dashing through the malls
With a cart that’s gone astray
Back to the bank we go
Crying all the way
Bells on registers ring
Making spirits sigh
Oh, what bills the mailman brings!
Why is my interest rate so high?

Jangled nerves, jangled nerves
Jangled all the day
Oh how sad it is to spend
Our holiday time this way

A day or two ago
I felt my chest grow tight
And very soon I found myself
Pacing through the night
I tried to get some sleep
But the fears they would not go
I knew I’d fallen deep
And never felt so low

Oh! Jangled nerves, jangled nerves
Jangled all the day
Oh how sad it is to spend
Our holiday time this way


Traditional stress reduction plans usually have four basic components. We are told that we should eat right, exercise, get plenty of sleep, and enjoy the company of others. If you are like me, you are looking at this list and feeling even more stressed out than before. The reason, of course, is that this list represents things that, for most of the year, feel barely within our control. The likelihood that they are going to become our standard mode of operation during the time frame between November and January is about the same as the likelihood that Santa will finally give us the high definition plasma TV we have been longing for rather than the lawn tool that will occupy our every weekend.

Don’t be dismayed merry gentlemen and women, there is another way to approach this time of the year. Contrary to many stress management techniques, the way out of this trap is not by struggling to get a hold of the stress Grinch that lurks in the shadows waiting to steal our holiday magic. It is by letting go of our habitual tendency to resist the world as it is. When we hold on desperately to the visions that dance in our head, we become frustrated when the world refuses to dance along. However, when we let go of the need for the holiday season, or any season for that matter, to conform to our preconceived notions, we discover a true miracle; life isn’t so bad when we actually live it rather than think our way around it.

This does not mean that we simply lie down and allow the yuletide sleigh to run us over. Moving into a state of “let go” does not mean we become victims of the wintry winds of fate. To the contrary, when we stop struggling against life we discover new options and energies. When we drop the notion that holiday stress is “out there” and see it as a routine mind creation, only decked out with bright lights and tinsel, we can actually do something to bring true joy to the season.

The next time you find that your holiday stress mug runneth over, try emptying it by asking yourself “what am I resisting at this very moment?” Look deeply into was is and see if you can hear the voice in your head saying, “this should not be.” Hit the pause button on this running commentary and you will find that all is calm; all is quiet.

In order to help you through the coming holidaze, I offer another revised Stressmas carol guaranteed to soften the heart of the most hardened Scrooge:
(Sung to the tune of Let It Snow)

Oh, the world outside if frightful
And everyone seems so spiteful
But since it’s no way to grow
I let it go, let it go, let it go
The stress it is not stopping
And my heart it feels like popping
But before I hit an all time low
I let it go, let it go, let it go

And when I finally see the light
Nothing seems quite so bad
When I let go of the fight
I discover the peace that I had

Now the fears are slowly dying
And my heart’s no longer crying
All I ever needed to know
Was let it go, let it go, let it go

Dharma Dawg

The true guru will never humiliate you, nor will he estrange you from yourself. He knows you need nothing, not even him, and is never tired of reminding you.
Sri Nisargadatta Maharaj

Faithful readers of this blog know that in times of inner turmoil I turn to my online guru the venerable Swami Rama Ding Dong. After discovering him on the Gurus R Us webpage, I have routinely sought his sage advice. It seems that I am no longer alone in my admiration for the Swami. Demand is so high that he no longer offers private audiences. So it was that I found myself being redirected to the Cyber Ashram site to join in a chat room where other like-minded seekers took turns asking questions of the wise master. Here is the transcript of my last session. (To keep track of me you need to know that I go by the screen name Dharma Dawg.)

Host: Thanks for joining Swami Rama Ding Dong in the Cyber Ashram. Please keep your questions brief and do not expect long answers. The Swami’s arthritis has him in a bad way.
Taoboy: Swami Rama Ding Dong, I find that I am more confused than when we last chatted. How do I know that the path I have taken is the right one? It so often feels wrong.
Swami: What, not even a “Hey how are you?” Is this always going to be about you and your endless search?
Taoboy: I’m sorry, you’re right. How are you?
Swami: I am not a self, so your question has no meaning.
Zenhead: Swami, how should we meditate?
Swami: You might as well ask “How should I circulate my blood?” or “How do I digest my food?”
Zenhead: Oh, ok. How should I circulate my blood and digest my food?
Swami: You’re new to this stuff aren’t you? The meditative state is your true state. There is nothing you need to do to reach the true state but drop the false.
BlisslessinSeattle: Swami, why do we suffer?
Swami: I think it has a lot to do with cable TV. I mean how many more reality shows do we need? (lol) Seriously, you suffer because you take yourself to be the body, which is subject to the law of opposites. Good, bad, healthy, unhealthy, rich, poor, Republican and Democrat. Give up this idea and be one.
ReincarNate: Swami, I’ve been practicing crystal based, past life, non-self anti-behavioral therapy. I have discovered that in a previous incarnation I insulted the Buddha by suggesting he shed a few pounds. Since then, my lives have been full of misery. How do I break free from this karmic trap?
Swami: I’m gonna need you to step away from the incense and take a deep breath of reality, new age boy. Find out who you are in this life and the question of past lives will be dropped.
DharmaDawg: Why am I such a worrier?
Swami: Worry is not your nature, peace is your nature. It’s because you take yourself to be your thoughts that you believe yourself to be a worrier.
DharmaDawg: Ok, I get the whole, “I’m not my thoughts” thing, but thoughts still happen and many of them are troubling. How can simply telling myself that these thoughts are not me make them stop?
Swami: Why do you want them to stop?
DharmaDawg: Because they are worrisome.
Swami: Are they?
DharmaDawg: Was that rhetorical?
Swami: Was it?
DharmaDawg: Cut it out.
Swami: Sorry, just trying to lighten the moment. Go into this idea of worry. Who is it that worries? Isn’t it still the worrier that worries? What would you expect from a worrying mind?
DharmaDawg: Ok, worry is an idea and worrying about worry is just another idea, but how do you make it stop?
Swami: Forget making it stop, just stop clinging, that is all. Your very effort to control it gives it power.
Buddhababe: Swami, could you upload a picture of yourself so that we might meditate on your image?
Swami: I don’t normally do this, as I am beyond the needs of the ego, but you seem like a good crowd. Here it is …

Buddhababe: I knew it.
Taoboy: You are my God!
ReincarNate: I loved you in O Brother Where Art Thou.
Zenhead: Any plans for Oceans 14?
DharmaDawg: You’re a sick bastard, Swami Rama Ding Dong.

I Knew That

Most of us learn facts, gather information or knowledge, but the mind never learns how to be quiet, how to be free from all the turmoil in life, from the soil in which problems take root.

Krishnamurti

Imagine the following exchange between a parent and child.

Parent: Once upon a time, there was a magic fairy. . .
Child: (Interrupting) No way, there are no such things as magic fairies.
Parent: (Undaunted) This magic fairy lived in a magic palace. . .
Child: (Indignantly) There are no such things as magic palaces!
Parent: (Slightly annoyed) One day the magic fairy met a goblin in the dark woods . . .
Child: (Almost hysterically) Goblins are not real, there is no way a magic fairy could meet a goblin because neither exist!
Parent (Laying the book down and brushing back a lock of hair from the child’s eyes.) Goblins do exist honey, and they eat little children who don’t believe in them. Sweet dreams.

Now imagine the following exchange, only on a more adult level.

Master: You need only enter the present moment to find the peace you seek. . .
Student: (Interrupting) No way I can stay in the present moment, the present moment sucks that’s why it needs to change.
Master: (Still in a state of peace) The present moment is changeless, it is the forms that come and go in the field of now that change.
Student: (Sarcastically) Please, everything changes and usually it changes for the worse. You want me to suffer all my life?
Master: (With loving-kindness) Your suffering results from the false beliefs you have about yourself. You are the now; you are that in which all happens.
Student: (Near narcissistic rage) I’ll tell you what happens, shit happens and that’s all she wrote.
Master: (In a state of total surrender) Tell me, what is the sound of my one hand slapping you on the back of the head?

From the moment in childhood when the thinking mind takes over, we have a very hard time hearing stories that do not conform to our preconceived notions of how things are. The closing of the mind occurs through the gradual build up of information, until we find ourselves surrounded by knowledge. It is this very knowing that keeps us from discovering new wonders.

This is why the essential ingredient in many ancient teachings is moving beyond our minds. It is not about becoming mindless, but becoming fully mindful; turning the light of our awareness on the world, minus the idea that we already know what is going on. In this open state, we become receptive to the world as it is and are no longer troubled by the world as we think it should be.

The liberation that comes from uttering the phrase “I don’t know” is profound. It helps to clear the slate and allows us to experience the depth of life. As Meister Eckhart put it so perfectly, “Only the hand that erases can write the true thing.” This helps to shake off the “been there, done that” syndrome that so many of us suffer from. The truth is that when we live in our heads we are never really “there” and whatever was “done” had to pass through the mind filter. When we enter into mindfulness, we begin to experience the true magic of a universe beyond our wildest imaginings.

The Law of Subtraction

In pursuit of knowledge,every day something is added.In the practice of the Tao,every day something is dropped.Less and less do you need to force things,until finally you arrive at non-action.When nothing is done,nothing is left undone.
Tao Te Ching
　
Google search “the law of attraction” and you will get 4,450,000 results. For those of you not privy to “The Secret,” the law of attraction states that if we really want something and truly believe it’s possible, we get it. New Agers will often talk about our ability to become manifesting machines and fill our lives with all sorts of goodies. Often, this “law” comes with a slice of spirituality on the side, suggesting that the universe wants us to have whatever we desire.

Before going on, I have a confession. I have dabbled with this law in the form of affirmations, and I have to admit it does seem to work. I will spare you the details, but on at least three occasions, my intentions did materialize. However, what I received did little to make my life any better, and, in one case, made things much worse. This was proof to me of two profound truths; the universe is a very giving place and there is no guarantee that what it gives will make you happy. Thus, the fine print of this law should read, “Caution, at some point, you will be faced with the downside of whatever gifts you are given.” So it is that the new car comes with the worries about someone crashing into it, the great job comes with the maniacal boss, the beautiful home comes with the ballooning mortgage, the new relationship…well you get the point.

It is easy to see how the idea that we can use mind power to fulfill our wildest dreams would be a huge success in a culture whose credo is not “less is more” but “more is never enough.” It should also be no surprise that many of the websites that promote this magical power, that is available to all of us, are willing to give away this secret only if you are willing to part with some of your hard-earned cash. This helps to manifest their desire to be rich!

How quickly we forget that trying to find true happiness through anything the mind desires is exactly what Jesus, Lao Tzu, the Buddha and many others pointed to as the cause of so much of our suffering. The depth of their great teachings has pointed to a singular truth; we are full and complete already and in need of nothing other than to awaken to our true nature. This, they assure us, can only be found in the mindful state of the present moment, not in the mind-created state of what the future will bring.

The great masters taught what I call the law of subtraction. This law teaches that when we drop all attachments to things, let go of everything we think we know about ourselves, we discover the kingdom of heaven within. This law points to the profound peace that comes from no longer being at odds with the present moment and no longer seeking fulfillment in the future. This is the exact opposite of the law of attraction, which begins with the premise, “life would be better if only I had this or that.”

The beauty of the law of subtraction is that it follows the natural course of life. Nature knows exactly how to lighten our load so that we won’t be the fattened camel trying to jam itself through the needle’s eye. If instead of trying to fight this process by hanging on for dear life, we could be in a state of let-go, we would discover the bliss of what the Buddha referred to as “sunyata,” meaning emptiness.

It’s unlikely that the law of subtraction will ever catch on with the same frenzy that the law of attraction sparked. It’s hard to sell books, videos and “Un-Manifest This” t-shirts while teaching the wisdom of moving beyond desires. But just in case, I have created a new line of products for those who had everything and then let it go. Yes, you too can, for a small price, own your own copy of my blank DVD Nothingness, It’s Really Something. Act now and I’ll throw in a blank copy of my new cd, Silence Like You Never Heard It Before.

Confessions of a Thoughtaholic: Part II

You think because you don’t understand.
When understanding arises, thinking disappears.
Osho

When we last left the humble narrator he had just experienced the jarring disruption of a life lived on autopilot. Thinking, which was once filled with such great promise, had become a rabid dog about to bite the hand that had fed it for so many years.

Anxiety, for those who have never felt its cold hand beyond the casual “My God what am I going to do about my job, child, 401k?” is a unique experience. It’s like waking up from a dream in which you are being chased by an evil force and your legs won’t move, to find that you are being chased by an evil force and your legs won’t move.

When it comes to the mind, anxiety is essentially worrying about your worries. This vicious cycle revs up the stress response so that one’s body begins to course with adrenaline and cortisol as the body prepares to fight an imagined foe. The mind, having created this menacing phantom, then begins to figure out ways to destroy it. If it were not for the sleeplessness nights, inability to eat, annoying obsessions and near-panic reactions to mundane life events, this mind-charade would be laughable. Sadly, in the throes of any addiction, a sense of humor is one of the first things to go.

Fortunately, I had access to wonderfully caring people who did there best to point out to me that I needed to kick this thinking habit. This, they assured me, would restore me to the moderately compulsive person they knew and loved. With their help I was able to ride out the thought storm and, as the deluge slowed to a trickle, discover the profound truth of the Tao Te Ching; “Stop thinking and end your problems.”

Looking back on the rocky road of recovery, I can now say that the journey did me a world of good. As the famous quote says, “What is hard to endure is sweet to remember.” The sweetness of confronting thought addiction is that one never again takes thoughts so seriously. Once you discover how easily the passing parade of mental noise can turn into a cacophony, (not unlike the shrieks heard on the weeding out stages of American Idol) it is easier to sit back and chuckle. With Simon-like confidence one can even rate one’s own performance:
“Not only are those the silliest thoughts you have ever come up with, they are without any hint of coherence. To say that they are the ramblings of a mad man is to insult raving lunatics everywhere.”

Since no recovery story worth its salt is without a Step Program and a slogan, I humbly offer the following: (I apologize to the 12-Step Program, in my experience most people can’t focus on more than three things at a time and addicts seldom make it past Step 1.)

The 3 Steps
Step 1: Forget your ego
Step 2: Forget Step 1
Step 3: Go back to Step 1

The Slogan

Thinking; it only seems like a good idea.

Confessions of a Thoughtaholic: Part 1

Restless the mind is. . .
Truly I think
The wind is no wilder.
Bhagavad Gita

My name is Mike and I’m a recovering thoughtaholic. I can’t say that I’m completely clean because I have still have thoughts now and then. I can say that they no longer run my life. My story is like that of many thinking addicts. I only hope it will help some other desperate soul out there in search of his or her next brain fix.

I began my addiction very early in life. It seemed very innocent at the time. I don’t remember the exact thoughts I had but I know they had something to do with a teddy bear, a blankie and some kind of cage I was living in at the time. I often used thoughts to soothe my young jangled nerves. This seemed a necessity once the “tall ones” took away my pacifier.

I as grew older, I found the hidden powers of thinking. It seemed to me that when I thought about scary stuff, I got scared and when I thought about happy stuff, I felt happy. I would often use thinking to create magical worlds where I could zoom into space, drive racecars, hunt for buried treasures and battle evil monsters all without leaving the safety of my bedroom.

Unbelievably, I was soon sent away to learn to think even more. Part of my brain seemed to know better and fought against this indoctrination. To my frustrated parents, this seemed like a classic case of separation anxiety; to me it was being cast out of Eden, crayons, paste and scissors in tow.

As I got the hang of formal education, my thinking addiction was well under way. I soon moved on from the soft stuff, “See Jane Run,” to the hard stuff, “If x=10 and y=x-5 what is 5x + 10y?” These were good times. There was nothing that my mind could not do. Jacked up on thoughts, I could solve the deepest of life’s mysteries. I was about to take a big bite out of the apple of knowledge.

Such is the exuberance and ignorance of youth, however, and I soon discovered that my thinking did not always bring good feelings. Sometimes, I would find my thoughts simply revolving around each other with no apparent purpose. Other times, my thoughts would lead to negative consequences that seemed to be delivered by an uncaring world. As I moved into early adulthood, my thinking habit was a daily happening and there were times when I would find myself, alone in bed, tossing and turning from the thoughts that wanted me to pull an all-nighter.

They say that recovery starts once you hit bottom. For me that bottom was in the form of an anxiety episode that took place well into my adult years. At the time, I believed I had tamed the thought beast and had kicked the habit. Sure, I was still thinking on a daily basis and trying to cover up the negative effects of thinking by more thinking. Of course, I was still hiding my thinking on occasions and, in the classic addict move, I was seeking out other thinkers, but I was still in control. That delusion painfully dissolved when the evil thoughts moved in and pushed out anything good and pure.

To be continued . . .

Say "Yes" to Yes

Remember this: no is ego fulfilling: yes is the method to discover the self.
Osho

This week’s personal stress strategy and technique was inspired by a recent trip my wife and I took to see the most adorable grandbaby in the world. For the uninitiated, Elizabeth Grace lives in Atlanta and is about to turn two years old. Among the many tasks facing Elizabeth at this age is the building of her ego. So it is that her current favorite word is “no.” This can be quite adorable in one so young, as the following exchange demonstrates:

Grandpa: Elizabeth, do you want to get your jammies on for bed?
Elizabeth: No. (Continues chasing the dog.)
Grandpa: Then do you want grandpa to read you a bedtime story?
Elizabeth: No. (Stops to pick up her doll baby.)
Grandpa: Do you want grandma to tuck you in?
Elizabeth: No. (Resumes chasing the dog.)
Grandpa: Do you want a big piece of chocolate cake before you go to bed?
Elizabeth: No. (Stops everything and realizing what she just said, begins to cry.)

This nay-saying mechanism is not so cute when it gets trapped in an almost 50 year old body, as demonstrated by the following exchange on the trip home:

Grandma: You want to stop for some coffee before we get going?
Grandpa: No. (Continues playing with the radio.)
Grandma: Then how about we stop to get something to eat, at least?
Grandpa: No. (Check GPS to make sure that he took the right exit.)
Grandma: How about . . ?
Grandpa: No. (Turns off radio in disgust that no one plays good Jazz anymore.)
Grandma: Tell me, does a diaper come with that attitude?
Grandpa: (In ignorant bliss) Did we pack any of that chocolate cake?

As Osho points out, “no” is food for the ego. Negation and resistance are the steroids that juice up our egos and keep them feeling in control. This is an essential developmental stage when we are young and there is no way around it. That’s why God created grandparents; to remind parents that “this, too, shall pass.”

The problem later in life is that “no” closes us off to the free flowing creative energy of the universe. The following technique is helpful in bringing us back into contact with this energy; spend a day saying “yes.” For twenty-four hours approach every situation with a "yes" attitude. Pay close attention to the feeling inside as you do this. Notice the pull toward the “no” and all of the reasons your mind will come up with to justify its reaction. Then notice the deep feeling of ease that comes with the “yes.” See how much easier it is to move through you day with acceptance rather than rejection.

A few quick caveats before you choose your day of yes. You might want to avoid used car salesmen, QVC and telemarketers. In addition, if you have kids you might want to tell them what you are up to and warn them that the yes only applies to the next 24 hours and that all decisions are rescinded with the following sunrise. No need to give away the farm with this one.

Personal Stress Strategies and Techniques: Defy Thyself

It is a true miracle when a man finally sees himself as his only opposition.
Vernon Howard


One of the common diagnoses given to adolescents these days is Oppositional Defiant Disorder (ODD). According to the Diagnostic and Statistical Manual of Mental Disorders—the bible for therapists—ODD is described as “An ongoing pattern of disobedient, hostile, and defiant behavior toward authority figures.” These kids have elevated defiance into an art form. If do not have to parent these children, there is something almost endearing about their refusal to follow society’s norms.

Think back to your teenage years. Do you remember how fantastic it felt to rebel against authority now and then? Fast forward to your current life situation and ask yourself when was the last time you broke out of habitual patterns of behaving and thinking. Realize that much of your stress is tied up in “the same old routine.” This is neatly summed up by the AA phrase, “Do what you’ve always done and you’ll get what you always got.” Don’t be too hard on yourself about this complacency. The refusal to try something new is the result of years of conditioning and pure exhaustion.

To break free, I suggest that you try a little ODD yourself. Consciously choose to buck the trends and set your own course, as in, “No I will not have fries with that, give me a side of another burger!” See how much fun it can be when you run contrary to popular opinion and “do your own thing” again. Make this as small or large as you feel comfortable with. The point that you're making is not that you can buck society’s conventions, but that you can disrupt your own. What you are rebelling against is the mind conditioning that forces you to see the world in the same way over and over again. To defy (literally "to renounce faith in") your thoughts this way is to break out of the prison of the false self and experience, again, the freedom that is your true self.

Where Did I Go?

Today I want to introduce you to the first of many Personal Stress Strategies and Techniques (PSST). These exercises will help you to realize the healing power of stress in your everyday life. Some will be practical methods that you can use whenever the mood strikes. Others will be more meditative in nature. A few will take the form of Zen koans, taking you beyond the mind completely.

We will start with the ancient trick of learning to make yourself disappear. Don’t worry, you will be back in time to catch Dancing with the Stars.

To begin, get a sheet of paper and find a quiet spot. In the absence of a quiet spot, pick one where the noises are familiar enough that you can ignore them without your blood pressure tacking into the near-stroke range. On the paper write down 4 or 5 things that are currently stressing you out. Be brutally honest about this. If you are still seeing red over the idea of a national health care plan, put that down. If the thought of Paula Abdul not returning to American Idol is keeping you up at night, on the list it goes. Once you have your list, turn the paper over.

On the top of this page write the words “I am.” Under this statement, list everything you can think of that describes who you are. Start with the obvious, age, gender, star sign, work role, etc. But don’t stop there. Really dig down into the depths and write all the things that make up the you you think yourself to be.

When the list is complete do the following:

1. Cross out anything that describes your physical make up, i.e. tall, short, svelte, and the like. Your body changes constantly so that cannot be who you really are.

2. Cross out anything that describes you in relation to others, i.e. brother, mother, father, Secret Santa. This requires the presence of another so it cannot be who you really are.

3. Cross out anything that is a subjective description of yourself, i.e. loving, caring, heart the size of the moon. These are nice, but be honest, you made them up so they cannot be who you really are.

4. Cross out anything that describes something of which you have no direct experience, i.e. one with the universe, the center of all existence. Nice try, but unless you live on that plane of reality you are just hoping.

5. Finally, cross out anything else that may be on your list since it simply means that you were excessively obsessive about this exercise and put down something that I could not imagine.

Now, look at your list and all of the cross outs and ask yourself this important question, “Who just completed this exercise?” Then, with your mind still stunned, turn the page over to your list of stressors and ask yourself this question, “Who is it that is stressed about all of these things?”

The (R)Age of Reason

If we don’t understand how
our minds work,
we will begin to rely

on our mental constructions
and we will be at the mercy of reason.
Anthony De Mello

If stress has a flag-bearer, then that title has to go to the mother of all emotions, anger. We live in a culture where anger is all the rage. From politicians to talk show hosts, little league coaches to more talk show hosts, it seems everyone has a river of anger flowing in their veins. Anger and stress are not just two sides of the same coin they are the same side of the same coin and that coin has long since tarnished.

If we are honest with ourselves, we have to admit that while we may long for emotions such as happiness, love and peace, anger is our go-to emotion. Anger seems to flow so effortlessly and, if the truth were told, feels so good at times. While there are many theories behind our attraction to, and use of, anger, we can boil most of them down to the following: the ego hates not having its needs met. Look at any situation that brings an angry response and see if you can’t sense the presence of the egoic mind which is ticking off all of the rational reasons why such and such should not be happening.

This is why the anger habit is so hard to break; it makes sense to the mind. The mind compares what is happening against what it wants to happen and then sends signals to the body that something is wrong. This can actually be beneficial when our personal rights are being trampled on. Many great changes in our lives have anger-energy as their fuel. The problem arises when the threat only exists in the mind. In a dramatic case of the dog chasing its tail, our minds create scenarios that get the blood boiling and then they try to find ways to calm the raging beast. This not-so-merry-go-round is what many of us mistake for “just another day” until vertigo leaves us feeling exhausted physically, emotionally, and spiritually.

When we move into a more mindful state, we see that it is our “reasonable” minds that are behind the rage response. When we begin to accept things as they are, the world no longer seems like it is here just to frustrate us. Yes, we still get angry, but we know that the anger is the body alerting us to the fact that we have slipped out of present moment awareness. We know that we are not our anger and that when we are no longer interested in it, the energy moves on.

The Buddha said that hanging on to anger is like holding a hot coal with the intention of throwing it at someone. In the end, only we are burned by it. Think of this image the next time you feel your mind getting ready to put together the list of “things to be angry about today.” I’m certain that you will realize that the wise response is to drop the coal.

Know Pain, Know Gain

We must embrace pain and burn it as fuel for our journey.
Kenji Miyazawa

Physical pain is the body’s way of telling us that something is amiss. It brings our attention into the present moment and says, “Hey, look over here, your eyebrows are on fire.” Without pain, we would most likely not make it out of childhood. The young mind believes it is invincible and would throw its skin suit into all sorts of life-threatening predicaments, if it could. Thus, the burning sensation tells the young child that stoves are for pots and pans, not hands and fingers. This allows the child to move on to new dangers, such as seeing if umbrellas make good parachutes. (Kids, don’t try this at home!)

Stress can act in much the same way. The sensation we feel when stressed tells us that we need to examine something that we are doing. One form of this feedback loop is the splitting headache at the end of the workday. A more dire warning is something along the lines of, “If you’re not going to do something about this, then how about I stop your heart from beating for a few seconds?”

If stress acts as a signal flare, alerting us to the need for an emotional rescue, why do we so often miss this not so subtle warning and continue as if all is well? When did we lose touch with ourselves to the point that many of us never stop to consider what our stress is telling us until someone in a white coat asks if we’ve met our deductible yet?

When we live in our heads, we often forget about our bodies or simply see them as means of transport for the all-important brain case that is the head. Disconnected from the whole of ourselves, we rely on rational process to sort through our experiences and solve the challenges that come our way. With all of the mind-noise, we can barely hear what our stress is saying. When a message does get through, if it sounds familiar, it is filed away in the, “Yeah, yeah, I know,” bin. This is why many of us sincerely feel surprised when the stress train runs us over.

Mindfulness helps to reconnect us to the wisdom in the body. This does not remove stress, instead, it helps stress move through the otherwise blocked channels. This allows the natural learning and healing process to unfold. Stepping out of the mind-fog, we step into present moment awareness. It is this very awareness we knew so well as children. The time when we did not need to be shown more than once that umbrellas do not have the necessary lift coefficient to prevent crash landings. (Kids, trust me on this one.)

Zen and the Art of Mushroom Hunting

This is the Zen approach: There is nothing to do. One has just to be. Have a rest and be ordinary and be natural.
Osho

Where I live in southeastern Virginia, April is important for two major reasons. The first reason is that it is the last month of nice weather before the dreaded mayflies show up and spoil every outing with their incessant biting. What makes them especially annoying is that they always target the head and face and are impervious to bug sprays. The second reason is that April heralds the arrival of the king of all fungi, the morel mushroom.

For the uninitiated, the morel is to mushrooms what filet mignon is to meat, what sea bass is to fish and what Chunky Monkey is to ice cream. With a taste that defies explanation, these gifts from the ground cannot be cultivated. Therefore, one must search the woods in hopes of stumbling across this delicacy.

What does all of this mushroom madness have to do with Zen? Good question, Grasshopper. I will try to explain.

The essence of Zen is often summed up with the expression “Chop wood, carry water.” This points to the fact that Zen practice is about simplicity itself. When we are deeply connected to what we are doing in the present moment we experience the power of awareness. This attention to life as it is, brings with it great peace. To obtain this peace we do not need to reach for higher planes or altered states. We simply do one thing at a time without the mind inserting notions of past or future.

When one looks for morels, one has to be singularly focused on the task. Concern about being bum-rushed by a mountain lion, rabid fox or herd of deer only distracts from the task of trying to distinguish a brownish spike in the ground from all of the other brownish things lying around. Walking intentionally, with senses sharpened, is meditation of the highest form. That is if one can keep the “I found more ‘shrooms than you,” ego at bay.

When one finally stumbles upon the once buried treasure, there is a profound sense of satisfaction. This feeling arises not from the mind but from the core of one’s being: that part that has realized a harmonious oneness with all creation. Not to mention the sense of how good these bad boys are going to taste sautéed in a little butter and served piping-hot over toast.

Much like all things Zen, there are levels of advancement along the road of mushroom hunting. Early devotees, like myself, are often too anxious to produce results and therefore easily overlook the telltale sign that one is in morel territory. It is during these times that the wise master steps in and directs the student back to the present moment. “You just walked right past this one,” he will say holding up the mother of all mushrooms. And if he has the Zen sense of humor that my father-in-law, and mushroom guru, has, he will add, “If a morel grows in the forest and you are not there to pick it, what are you going to have to eat while I’m having a morel-stuffed omelet?

Mr. Fix-It

Earth to earth, ashes to ashes, dust to dust.
The Book of Common Prayer

Recently I ran headlong into what the Buddha called anicca, the impermanence of all things. This confrontation occurred during the time-honored tradition known as spring cleaning. Honey-do-list in hand, it hit me, “Didn’t I just do all of this? How can there be so much that needs painting, cleaning, and repairing?” This brought on the first of the Buddha’s four noble truths; life is dukkha, or suffering.

My personal dukkha, in this case, comes from absence of the gene that makes men good at fix-it jobs. I am to home repair what the Buddha apparently was to dieting; not only not good at it, but lacking almost any interest in it. As I sat staring into a brilliant blue sky, the sun just reaching over the trees, I realized that our attachment to forms that will eventually crumble into dust is the source of great pain and suffering. Also, I knew that my efforts to stop things from crumbling often caused me increased pain, as in the hammer hitting the thumb rather than the nail, the weed whacked stone flying into the eye, or the ripping of flesh as the knuckles move but the wrench does not. Most importantly, I knew that Nirvana was just down the river in the form of bass waiting to be caught.

Why bother cutting grass that is only going to grow back, turn brown, die and be taken over by weeds that will dominate all summer? Why clean the deck only to have moss and mold make their way back to reclaim what they believe is rightfully theirs? And for heaven’s sake, why clean leaves out of a gutter when the leaves are capable of decomposing all on their own, creating the black gold known as compost?

My plan was to use my new-found knowledge of the ancient masters to convince my better half that a day not spent on the water fishing was a day wasted. I would win her over to the notion that there is great restorative power in leisure. Here is how my argument went:

Me: You know, the Buddha says that our attachment to things that will eventually dissolve leads to needless suffering. I’m thinking the chores can wait another weekend. I hear the bass are running wild in the creek.
My better half: (Drinks her Yogi tea and does not respond.)
Me: (Somewhat more desperately) The Tao Te Ching says “Retire when work is done, this is the way of heaven.” Who are we to argue with Lao Tzu?
My better half: (Continues to sip her tea in silence).
Me: (Going for the big guns) You know, Jesus said “Do not store up for yourselves treasures on earth, where moth and rust destroy, and where thieves break in and steal. But store up for yourselves treasures in heaven, where moth and rust do not destroy, and where thieves do not break in and steal.” You also know he was very fond of fishermen.
My better half: (Putting down her tea) When you can turn water into wine, you get a pass on the chores list. Practice mindfulness as you power-wash the deck.

Solemnly, I turned my attention back to the list. I marveled at how the paper contained within it all the elements of the universe. I considered the interdependent relationships that had brought about its existence. Within that piece of paper were the sun, the wind, and the rain. All of them seemed to be mocking me now through the silent scribble of ink that was mapping out my weekend. I wondered how long would it take for this paper to dissolve into the eternal cycle of life and death? And more importantly, would that get me out of chore number five which was to clean out the gutters?

Altered States

Meditation is something in-built. You just have to create a space for it to function, just give it a chance.
Osho

My wife and I recently found ourselves in an altered state. The state was North Carolina, where we spent an extended weekend on the Outer Banks.
This got us into a deep conversation about the concept of altered states and what constitutes true consciousness. This is what therapists do when they are on vacation together.

We have both come across teachings that suggest that what we consider our normal consciousness is actually a dream state. A lively debate ensued about whether or not meditation was an avenue toward altered or true states of consciousness. Here is how I remember the conversation:

Mike: An altered state is actually a meditative state. When you meditate, you contact your true inner self or state. It’s the non-meditative state the deludes you into believing that it is real, thus the paradoxical paradigm shift between being and nonbeing. (I recall that I was quite articulate on this point.)
Kathy: I have no comeback for your wisdom. You speak the truth my dear husband. (I may not remember her response verbatim.)

I am now being told by my wife, who happened upon the last paragraph, that I misrepresented our exchange. Her version is as follows:

Kathy: I’m talking about the connection between the altered states we experience during meditation and the altered states we discover while on vacation, outside of our usual habitual patterns, while out of state. Get it? I think you should write a blog about it.
Mike: You write a blog about it (pouting). I am way too filled with foolish man-pride to admit that you had a good idea and send it out as my blog. I may as well just tie an apron around myself right now. (Returns to reading the book How to Communicate with Your Spouse Without Really Trying.)

I’m not going to quibble over whose version is correct. Here is a hint, there is no such book as How to Communicate with Your Spouse Without Really Trying. Instead, I want to move on the central point that whatever we do to step out of our egoic selves brings us into contact with our true nature. Meditation, a walk on the beach, listening to a rainstorm and anything we experience in the present moment brings us to a state of consciousness that is a deviation from the normal state of habitual thought. There is nothing mystical about altered states of consciousness because they represent our deep connection to the universe. Nothing could be more natural.

The “other-worldly” quality comes from egoic mind stepping back in to evaluate what just happened while its back was turned. With its return, the connection to the present moment is broken and we are lost again in time.

Vacation, from the Latin word vacatio literally means “freedom.” In the practical sense, it is freedom from one’s duty or profession. In the meditative sense, it is freedom from mind-dominated experience. The bad news is that you can’t buy it, pack it, or make it happen. The great news is that you have it with you at all times; it’s your home state and its motto is the same as that of North Carolina, which is “To be, rather than to seem.”

Kathy: You made that last bit up, didn’t you?
Mike: No, it really is the motto. I just googled it.”
Kathy: That’s too perfect. It’s the essence of mindfulness; seeing things as they really are, rather than how they appear to the mind. That’s how you should end the blog.
Mike: That’s just what I was going to do.
Kathy: You were not.
Mike: I was too.
Kathy: Can’t you just admit that I had a good point and leave it at that?
Mike: (Thinks for a long time) Let’s go look at our beach pictures again.

Canned Stress

Although, contrary to public opinion, we must not—and indeed cannot—avoid stress, we can meet it efficiently and enjoy it by learning more about its mechanism and adjusting our philosophy of life accordingly.

Hans Selye

A recent quest has taken me into the heart of our country’s strange addiction to stress. You see, I am one of the few remaining souls who still craves decaffeinated cola drinks. For the past several days, I have been in and out of convenience stores, supermarkets and even the cafeteria in the hospital I work in trying to get my hands on a caffeine-free Pepsi or Coke. I would have even settled for an RC. I was that desperate. What I found, instead, was that not only are caffeine-free drinks hard to come by; store shelves are stocked with what I call “canned stress.” These super-charged, stay-up-all-night, “who wants to run around the block” elixirs point to our love/hate relationship with stress.

First, a wee-bit of science. Caffeine has the following effects on our systems:
1. Stimulates your heart, respiratory system, and central nervous system.
2. Causes messages to be passed along your nervous system more quickly.
3. Stimulates blood circulation.
4. Raises blood pressure.
5. Causes your adrenal glands to release their hormones into your bloodstream.
6. Causes blood sugar, or blood glucose, to be released from storage through the effects of the adrenal hormones.

Now here is what stress does to our bodies:
1. Nervous system responds by releasing a flood of stress hormones, including adrenaline and cortisol.
2. Heart pounds faster.
3. Muscles tighten.
4. Blood pressure rises.
5. Breath quickens.
6. Senses become sharper.

The difference between the two responses is how the mind labels what is going on. When the response comes because your boss just reminded you that it is time for your annual review, we call it “stress.” When it comes out of a nicely packed container with the promise of mental clarity and perhaps even sexual prowess, we call it “being juiced.”

Surely, there is a lesson here for us. If the basic difference between the good time of sitting around a table at Starbucks discussing the president’s economic bailout while jacked up on mocha lattes, and the not-so-good time of your stock broker explaining your personal bailout of declaring bankruptcy, is in the mind, there is hope. Perhaps we can take a cue from mass marketing and just repackage our notion of stress to make it more appealing.

I suggest that we stop calling stress the “silent killer” and give it a title worthy of our nation’s obsession with inner energy. We could even hip-hop it up in the same way the Republican Party has brought “street cred” to itself. Something along the lines of “killa stress,” seems fitting.

I would like to kick off a national campaign to turn stress from a villain into a “gangsta,” set to the following rap:

Yo, yo you with the heart beat thumpin’
And the blood all pumpin’
Ain’t you sumpin
With your brains all racin’
And your hormones chasin’
Ain’t nothing you be facin’
But stress
Killa stress…

Oh, well, it didn’t seem to work for the Republicans either. Perhaps we can just learn to accept the fact that the aliveness we feel when stressed is part of the tension of living. Sure, in huge doses, over a prolonged period of time, it can eat away at the fabric of your being, but so can Dr. Pepper. Maybe by simply choosing to rename the moments in our lives when we feel supercharged inside we can defuse the stress time bomb. Of course, that would be nothing more than a mental trick, a slight of mind, as it were. But so is telling ourselves that we are nothing more than ego-filled skins suits that need to fear life rather than celebrate it.

Why not turn the mind back on itself and go deeply into the stress of life, only without the distress? Heck, I’m so convinced I’m going go get a super-sized can of high energy Jolt and drink a toast to stress. Then I’m going to run around the block, take the dog for a walk, and maybe take up kick boxing . . .

Opposites Attach

Therefore having and not having arise together. Difficult and easy complement each other. Long and short contrast with each other; High and low rest upon each other; Voice and sound harmonize each other; Front and back follow one another. --Tao Te Ching

To find healing in situations that, at first glance, seem to only inflict suffering, we have to move beyond the Western notion of “either/or.” The Newtonian model of the universe teaches that everything has been put together like a machine and the parts are good or bad, working or not working, and desirable or undesirable. Once the mind bites this apple of the knowledge of good and evil, all hell breaks loose.

Most of us understand that the world comes at us in waves of opposites. We know that there are “good times” that are often followed by “bad times.” We know that coins have two sides, and we get the concept that once you climb up a mountain you have to come down again. Stress shows up because the mind thinks it can, and needs to, gain mastery over the world by eliminating one of the opposites. We see the polarities of the world and think, “I like this end of the stick, but I’m not really happy with the other end.” Thus, we spend untold energies trying to rid ourselves of some thing in order to get this other thing.

This act of separating the world is so entrenched in our collective history, and so deep within our personal psyches, that most people genuinely do not know there’s another way of looking at things. Educated and indoctrinated into the cult of “this or that,” many people cannot even imagine a whole unified world, let alone a complete sense of self.

So much of stress is the result of trying to pry apart things that actually compliment each other. It is the mind that sees contrast and competition and it sends the ego—the false self created to meet the challenges of the material world—out to do its dirty work. The reality is that there is no split, except in our heads. We are all, to greater or lesser degrees, schizophrenic—torn between reality and fantasy.

To discover the healing power of stress we simply have to heal the split within; no longer tear ourselves to pieces in an attempt to find the good bits among the ruins. We are only in our “right minds” when we’re whole. When we stop carving up our lives into what seems like easily digestible pieces, we will begin to feel holy—free of wound or injury—again. Once we realize that opposites are not truly in opposition to each other, that they actually support each other, we will no longer feel the deep sense of dread when we find ourselves at one pole or the other. When we say “yes” to the natural order of things, life stops saying “no” to us. By simply blessing the ups and the downs, we turn struggle into surrender and resistance into acceptance.

Nice to Meet Me

The inside information is that your self, as “just little me” who “came into this world” and lives temporarily in a bag of skin, is a hoax and a fake.
Alan Watts

I have been living with me all my life and, I must confess, I have not always been good company. Sure there have been some good times; the summer of ‘77 immediately comes to mind, as does my wedding night, but there has been more than the occasional rough spot. The time I talked myself into wearing a lime green leisure suit to ninth grade “class night” still stings. All of this leaves me wondering just who is this me I have had as a companion ever since I was able to call something “mine!” (As in, “That lime green leisure suit burning on that garbage heap over there? That’s mine.”)

If the Buddha was right, and the self that we create and come to think of as me is in fact only an illusion, it’s one hell of trick. It’s right up there with sawing a woman in half, levitation and bipartisanship in Washington D.C. Me sure seems real when in the throes of ecstasy, as in when my team wins the Super Bowl. And equally real during times of deep heartbreak, as when my team loses the Super Bowl. Four times in a row. Not that I’m bitter.

During an extended episode of anxiety I was so lost in the sense of me that, in an ironic twist, the world around me took on a very unreal quality. Nothing could penetrate the panic shield my mind had created. So it was that days of warm sun, caring family and curious pets were all deflected away, like bullets bouncing off of the chest of Superman, only this Superman was afraid to sleep, eat and . . . well you don’t need to know all of the gory details. The deeper I fell into the endless pit of “self" the more it seemed that my mind was the only hope of getting out. As my faithful readers now know, this was the opposite of what would save me. So it was that every thought sent in as a rescuer turned into a victim and would call back, “its much worse down here than we imagined.”

It seemed that I had come to the breaking point and that if there was going to be any peace I was going to have to get over myself. This initially seemed like a daunting challenge. Bookstores are overflowing with titles pointing the way out of dysfunctional relationships with others. But where does one find the tome “I’m Just Not That Into Me”? Fortunately, for the soon-to-no-longer-be me, a means of having a civil divorce from one’s self had already been mapped out. Not only were there pointers showing the way, there were detailed descriptions of what to expect, what to avoid and most importantly where all the rest stops were along the way.

It was exceedingly comforting, and remains so to this day, to find that the who’s-not-who list of those who have overcome the self includes Jesus, the Buddha, Lao Tzu, Ramana Marharshi, Nisagardatta Maharaj and Krishnamurti, to name a few. Their collective fingers have pointed the way to a life without the burdensome me. With their help, I stopped the frantic search for my sanity. With great relief, I put away the science of mind in favor of the silence of the mind. Whether it is called mindfulness, meditation or spiritual seeking, this Zen-quest leads one out of the wilderness of the ego and into the wide open space of non-self. It is surely this wide open space that the poet Rumi referred to when he wrote:

Out beyond ideas of wrong-doing and right-doing,
there is a field. I'll meet you there.
When the soul lies down in that grass,
the world is too full to talk about.

It is in this very field where me and Self meet and live mindfully ever-after.

A New Look

We experience ourselves, our thoughts and feelings as something separate from the rest. A kind of optical delusion of consciousness. This delusion is a kind of prison for us, restricting us to our personal desires and to affection for a few persons nearest to us. -- Einstein

If I were a gambling man I would bet that the idea of “healing stress” sounds strange to you. I would also guess that a part of you really wants to believe in the healing power of stress, but another part really wants to brush it aside and replace it with the “cold, hard truth”—life can hurt at times. You may find yourself in a stressful situation again and say, “See, there is no healing in this. It sucks and that’s that!” Or, you may find yourself heading back to the bookstore to finally buy that copy of Ten Reasons Why There is Nothing You Can Do to Feel Better.

I want to assure you that things can be different. I want you to know that when you look at stress mindfully, rather than thoughtfully, you will cut off the fuel that your body needs to create a full-blown panic attack.

The power of mindfulness is not in forming new thoughts, but the transformative power of simply looking. Jesus did not say, “Go gather up some lilies and figure out how they manage to live such a carefree life.” He simply said, “Consider the lilies.” One could almost imagine him saying, “Quit worrying and go meditate on the lilies. They hold the secret to living.” With mindfulness, the focus of your attention reflects back your true nature.

From the great ancient teachers right on up to modern-day physicists, the message is that you are a watcher, a witness entangled with the very essence of what you are watching. When you think of yourself as separate from that which you see, you suffer. Stress is simply a reminder that you have lost the whole and are focusing on its parts. When you practice nonjudgmental acceptance of this fact you will have a new look at life.

You have an alchemical power within you, and if the sages and mystics are correct, to unleash it you only need to recognize that it is there. That seems like a no-brainer to me. So give your mind a rest and go into your stress totally and see if you can find the seed of a new understanding. Get out of your head and take heart, which is where you were meant to be all along. Every stressful event you’ve ever encountered had its place, and all the ones you will meet have a role to play in the unfolding mystery that is life. Forget about trying to find the source of your stress; find your source and stress will take care of itself.

News Flash

The less people know, the more stubbornly they know it.
Osho

“Stress could save your life.” This was the cover story of the February 23rd edition of Newsweek. My initial reaction was, “My God, they stole my idea!” My second thought was “I’ll sue and be rich.” My third thought was “I’m going to get a bigger boat.” After I came down from this litigious high I went to the internet and read the article. What I found was a relief and a disappointment: they had not stolen my idea but, therefore, I was not going to get a bigger boat.

The general message of the article was that despite dire warnings that stress can kill you, or at the very least shrink your brain cells, it can also be beneficial. The author pointed to the fact that stress often helps create the energy necessary to take on new challenges, overcome obstacles and motivate us to do better at jobs we care about. The article even quotes my favorite stress researcher, Hans Selye, and references his concept of “eustress,” which is a term for good stress.

The author even went on to dip his toes into the Zen waters. He mentioned that research has shown that meditation can help the brain recover from the negative impacts of prolonged stress. But then the wheels fell off his “let’s look at stress in a new way” bus.

The author quickly dismissed the benefits of both mindfulness and meditation by stating “not all of us want to or can become monks; not all of us can spare even eight weeks for a course at the Center for Mindfulness.” He further turns out the lights on the healing power of stress by stating that the core issue of stress is control: that when we feel that we have no control over our lives, we feel stressed. The antidote is neatly prescribed as “We're going to have to figure out what parts of our future we can control, and we'll need to engage with them thoughtfully.”

At this point I slumped in my chair, no longer worried about the gleaming fiberglass fishing boat that would never be, and thought “this is the same old idea.” The notion that we need to look to the future for stress relief is how we got into this mess in the first place. “Stress isn’t about not being in control,” I shouted at my computer screen, “it is refusing to let go of control that keeps us stressed.” The screen simply stared back at me as if to say “what are you yelling at?” In a more relaxed state, I added, “this article is one small step forward from the present moment and a giant leap backwards from mindfulness. I sighed, and I’m sure I heard the computer screen giggle.

So, in the style of Stephen Colbert, a tip of the hat to Newsweek for putting the idea that stress may need a second look on their front cover. However, a wag of the finger for suggesting that the only way out is the way we came in—through thinking.

One final note, if you read the article online (see hyperlink) make sure that you check out the comments from readers. Many of those who responded were apoplectic about being asked to consider that stress is anything other than a plague upon mankind.

http://www.newsweek.com/id/184154

The Zen of Aging

If your mind isn't clouded by unnecessary things, this is the best season of your life.

Wu-men

Two of the essential questions we ask as we age are “what is my life’s purpose?” and “what has it all been for?” For some, this questioning of life's course and meaning may lead to benign regrets, such as that one never learned how to cook with a wok, or may lead to a soul crushing critique of every choice one has ever made. This self analysis may lead to feelings reflected in the biblical sentiment “I have seen all the works which have been done under the sun, and behold, all is vanity and striving after wind.”

The destructive stress that often accompanies aging is intertwined with humankind's drive to explain ourselves to ourselves. Never satisfied with the simple things, we seek to break everything down into understandable bits, including the self. It is no wonder that as the clock begins to wind down on our time here we may begin to suffer from depression and anxiety. How can one avoid being filled with dread if the not-so-subtle message of the age is “don’t be dysfunctional, find out what your function is.” In a culture that puts such emphasis on producing something, there are no points awarded for simply being present.

The true essence of Zen and many other great teachings is that when we stop looking for answers we will stop creating problems. The need to unlock the mystery of one’s purpose only creates confusion in the mind. Whose criteria will we judge by? What if we discover our purpose is at odds with our religion, politics, culture or what the current best seller says it should be? Furthermore, do we really believe that once we make up our minds that our minds will leave us alone? More likely it will be there as the constant critic reminding us whenever we stray from the path.

Now imagine growing older and already knowing that we have fulfilled our purpose simply by showing up and participating in life! How much more relaxed would it feel if we believed in our hearts that everything already fits into its perfect place? What if we could experience a healing power by dropping all the false trappings of self and trusting more in the natural processes that have been in place since the beginning? What if we could understand the inherent wisdom in the Buddhist statement “no self, no problem”?

Once we overcome the thought addiction that has us responding to all of the messages society has placed in our heads about growing older, we can use a more mindful approach to experience our purpose. This approach uses one’s own heart as a guide to what we know to be true, that which brings us inner peace. We can find comfort in the following words from the Tao Te Ching:

The Master's power is like this.

He lets all things come and go effortlessly, without desire.

He never expects results; thus he is never disappointed.

He is never disappointed; thus his spirit never grows old.

No matter how old we are, we can take a moment to consider what is driving our lives these days. What expectations do we have for ourselves? By what standards do we measure ourselves? Once we feel the stress inside when considering the distance between where we are and where we think we should be, we can take a deep breath and tell ourselves that there was nowhere to go in the first place. When we loosen our grip on the steering wheel of life we will find that life is a much better driver than we could ever be.

Lose It Before You Use It

I put my heart and soul into my work,
and have lost my mind in the process.
Vincent Van Gogh

What do most people mean when they talk about losing their minds? Surely it's not a statement of going beyond thought and connecting with the world as it is. No, the phrase "losing one’s mind" usually reflects the deep-seated fear that our sanity will begin to unravel like a ball of string and things will stop making sense. This fear leaves many of us holding tight to the reins of our thoughts believing that our sanity hinges on our ability to corral them to keep them from running wild.

The irony is that it is the very effort of holding on that creates the tension that we experience as "losing it." During the most stressful times we aren't losing our mind, we are in fact inseparable from it. We have identified ourselves with it and all of its musings, and have become addicted to it. The true insanity of this addiction is that we actually believe that we are our thoughts.

Even if we wanted to lose our minds we would find ourselves in a game of hide and seek where the seeker always knows our favorite hiding spots. The fact that we can question our own sanity is the way out of this game. The ability to look upon our thoughts puts distance between our real selves and the selves our minds have put together (often without our expressed permission). An old saying in psychology is that people who are really crazy do not sit around wondering if they are crazy. The rest of us who spend our time worrying that the nervous breakdown is just around the corner are simply experiencing the human condition of suffering. Feel better now?

Recovering addicts will often talk about their active addiction as if it had happened to someone else. Guess what? It did. This is the beauty of recovery of any kind; recovering the awareness that the external self is always changing. At a very basic and cellular level we are not the same person we were even a few days ago. Meanwhile, the true self, the canvas on which the material self is painted, is ever the same. We are never without this self. No matter what our minds tell us.

The next time you find yourself listening to your thoughts, and they sound like the ravings of a mad person, simply tell yourself “never mind.” For despite its efforts, the mind cannot take over the inner peace that is inside you, that is you, the peace that “surpasses all understanding.” This peace is our true inner nature and cannot be found by the mind because, as Ramana Marharshi pointed out, "the mind obscures the natural state." To find this peace simply drop the addiction to thinking. You won’t go crazy, but you will be out of your head.

A Near-Life Experience

It is not death that a man should fear, but he should fear never beginning to live.
Marcus Aurelius

I have read many stories of people who, after brushes with death, report that they emerge with a new consciousness, an awakened state in which everything seems to fit into place and make perfect sense. Their stories are filled with such hope, such intense understanding of life, that I could only think, “I gotta get me some of that.”

Like most people, I have never faced the great white light of a near-death experience. I have, however, seen the faint glimmer of a near-life experience. This is a nagging sense that one is almost there, just a step away from personal fulfillment and only a few short steps from the Promised Land. However, it is never close enough and one’s days are spent lamenting a life almost lived to the fullest, dreams almost made real and the desire to be the most sought after, well-liked person in the known solar system left unfulfilled.

Where is our enlightenment? When does the awakening take place for those of us who spend more time in the “ditch often occupied” than the on “the road less traveled?” Sure if you spent an evening hovering over your body while the EKG machine flat lined, and then were able to return to tell your loved ones that you heard every word they said about how you should have exercised more, you might have a new outlook on existence. But what if the only out of body experience you ever had was followed up by a smashing hangover and your only contact with nirvana was a concert you went to years ago that left you thinking, “what are they so angry about?”

Prior to Buddhism, there were two primary roads that one could travel down in search of higher planes of existence. One was hedonism and the other asceticism. With the first you flood the senses with all the earthly delights you can stand in hopes of reaching ecstasy. With the other you inflicted suffering on yourself in hopes that you could break down your human trappings and discover the divine truth hidden underneath. Both paths came with pitfalls, but my choice would have been the unending pleasure-fest.

The Buddha’s great insight was that neither road was necessary and both actually had at their core the problem of desire, even if that desire was to renounce all earthly treasures, in the case of asceticism, in order to get a payoff from the Supreme Being. The Buddha pointed out that somewhere between these two extremes was a middle path that was the natural course that life takes. Simply living in accord with life and not fighting it brings one back to the natural state of enlightenment. The image often used is that of a river taking the path of least resistance back home to the sea.

In the end it is not gorging on life or coming close to death that wakes us out of our misery, it is living life mindfully, being totally in the here and now and not allowing our thoughts and desires to run the show. To reach this state of deep peace within ourselves does not require an out of body experience, but you will have to get out of your mind. This will feel like death to the ego so don’t be surprised if you hear its shrill voice calling, “stay away from the light, don’t go towards the light!”

Waiting to Inhale: The Healing Power of Breath

I took a deep breath and listened to the old bray
of my heart: I am, I am, I am.
Sylvia Plath

Chances are that unless you have a head cold, and a box of tissues have been your constant companion, you are giving very little thought to your breathing. The body, in its infinite wisdom, has relegated breathing to the autonomic nervous system so that we can eat, sleep and do Sudoku puzzles all without having to think about taking our next breath. The wisdom of the body extends even deeper, as the breath is also something that we can bring under our conscious control. This attention to breath is central to meditative healing practices both ancient and modern.

How can something so simple and so ordinary have the power to transform our lives? This question arises because the mind, in an attempt to maintain control, is convinced that transformation is a very difficult process that takes years or even a lifetime to complete. The answer, however, is evident if we think about the physiological impact of breathing. Stripped down to basic science, breathing is a constant miracle. With each inhalation an invisible substance is drawn from the external world, undergoes a chemical transition, and becomes the very stuff of our existence. With each exhalation comes the expulsion of a potentially harmful invisible substance, making room for the introduction of more life-giving nutrients. From your first gasp to your last whisper, your breath is always with you, making all other processes possible.

To tune in to the healing force of breath, find a quiet spot to sit where you won’t be interrupted. Now, just pay attention to your breathing. Don’t try to change it in any way, just observe. When the inevitable stray thought arises, simply notice it and then turn your attention back to the breath. Next, watch the body as the breath enters. Feel the chest moving in and out in response to your breaths. Pay attention to the intervals of the in and out breath, and especially to that quiet moment between breaths.

Once you have a feel for your normal breathing you can begin to tinker with it a bit. On your next breath, make a point of drawing it down deep into the lungs. You should see and feel your stomach expanding out as you fill your lungs. On the exhalation, watch as the stomach sinks in and see if you can push it back towards the spine to really empty the tank. Finally, go back to normal breathing and just observe.

You will probably notice that your mind was blank during the time that you were aware of your breath. It seems that the mind cannot think and observe the breath at the same time. This is great news for those of us “thought junkies” since in the absence of the racing mind we make contact with our deeper selves. This is one of the reasons that breathing is so connected to all things spiritual.

That we can have access to this free creative energy whenever we want should be headline news. The fact that it isn’t is a symptom of our culture that looks for big ticket items and misses the more subtle nature of existence. Plus, you can’t package breath and sell it as the latest cure-all for everything from insomnia to impotence for the low price of $9.99. Although, given the state of our marketing-crazy world, don’t be surprised to find “Canned Breath” showing up in your local New Age shop right next to the box of Instant Karma cookies. Before it comes to that, take a breather, you deserve it and there's no charge.

Quantum Stress

Everything we call real is made of things that cannot be regarded as real.
Neils Bohr—Quantum Physicist

Ever since the day that an apple fell on Newton’s head we have been living with a model of the universe that has separated mind and body, things from no things. In the world of Newtonian physics the relationship between an apple and one’s head is predetermined and governed by laws that can predict the behavior of both the falling orb and the head that is about to receive it.

In the wacky world of quantum physics things get a little more blurry. Not only is there no true separation between one’s head and an apple, both are involved in a complex dance of interdependence. This connection is so deep that without an observing consciousness inside the head the apple doesn’t even exist. Even weirder is that there are no things in the quantum universe, simply energy that is pure potentiality waiting for a conscious presence to bring it into being. What does all this head-spinning, Alice in Wonderland physics got to do with our stress? Everything, and in true quantum paradox, nothing.

In Newton’s universe, the mind struggles to stay one step ahead of the world lest it do something to threaten the existence of the material form that is the body. When something comes along that challenges the status quo a series of physiological changes take place in the brain in an attempt to bring things back into balance. Classically, the brain triggers a fear response and prepares the body to either run or stand and fight.

In the quantum world, everything arises from within consciousness in what quantum geeks call the collapse of the possibility wave. What that means in terms of our stress is that there is no evil force hiding around every corner waiting to jump out and rain on our picnic, parade, wedding day, or beach vacation. When the line between the observer and the observed is erased the notion of a suffering self in the grips of an uncaring world dissolves. Thus, we give rise to both internal and external reality and in the end there is nothing to fight and nowhere to flee to.

Much our so called stress results from still clinging to the Newtonian model and believing that simply because the mind sees separation in things that these boundaries actually exist. Of course it is threatening to imagine that we are isolated beings that happened upon a rock that is hurtling through space all the while trying to fling off the annoying pests it finds running about its surface. In the Newtonian nightmare, the sky is falling and it’s not only raining apples there are all kinds of nasty things to dodge.

In the peaceful kingdom that is reality, however, we did not arrive upon an alien world, we arose out of it as a wondrous byproduct of intelligent universe. To paraphrase the Desiderata, not only are we children of this universe who have a right to be here, the universe is here because we are here. So the next time you feel a panic attack coming on, brought about by a mind at odds with reality, take a deep breath and make the quantum leap over the imaginary fence that separates mind and matter. Not only is the grass greener, it never needs mowing.

Mindful Aging: A Word to the Wise

Sit down before fact as a little child, be prepared to give up every preconceived notion, follow humbly wherever and whatever abysses nature leads, or you will learn nothing. Thomas H. Huxley

The phrase “with age comes wisdom” would suggest that while mother nature is busy taking things away from us as we grow older, she is at least willing to offer up compensation. However, the fact that many people go from being young and foolish to old and foolish means that wisdom is not something that is given freely, like grey hairs and wrinkles, but requires some action on our part.

Wisdom, as most people think about it, is simply the accumulation of life experiences. To have lived a long life is to have gathered a lot of information about life. This information, the theory goes, gives us a leg up on those who have not been around as long. So simply having an earlier birth date can elevate one to the status of “wise one.”

The origin of the word wise, however, does not mean to know but to see, or “to see the path.” This implies that wisdom is not just experience but experience plus learning. Touching a hot stove is an experience; not touching it again is a wise thing to do. Extend this example across a lifetime and you can see why we often continue to get burned by the same things over and over again; we just never learn. This is one of the core differences between mindful and mindless aging. When we are mindful we learn from every happening in our life because we have been fully present and aware, we see clearly. We know that the hot stove will burn us every time we touch it and do not play the game that maybe we can outsmart the stove or forget that hot stoves hurt.

Another aspect of mindful aging that contributes to wisdom involves breaking out of habitual thinking patterns and seeing the world with new eyes. Through mindfulness, we can turn the saying “you can’t teach an old dog new tricks” on its head by teaching old tricks to new dogs. Becoming a witness to life reconnects us with something very ancient that paradoxically lets us experience life anew.

If you have forgotten how to do this simply observe young children at play. Watch as their total absorption in the moment reveals new worlds to them. Mindfulness returns us to this state and puts the growth back into growing old. It imparts its wisdom through the gentle path of allowing things to be as they are. A word to the wise, this path still comes with wrinkles and grey hair.