Personal Stress Strategies and Techniques: Defy Thyself

It is a true miracle when a man finally sees himself as his only opposition.
Vernon Howard


One of the common diagnoses given to adolescents these days is Oppositional Defiant Disorder (ODD). According to the Diagnostic and Statistical Manual of Mental Disorders—the bible for therapists—ODD is described as “An ongoing pattern of disobedient, hostile, and defiant behavior toward authority figures.” These kids have elevated defiance into an art form. If do not have to parent these children, there is something almost endearing about their refusal to follow society’s norms.

Think back to your teenage years. Do you remember how fantastic it felt to rebel against authority now and then? Fast forward to your current life situation and ask yourself when was the last time you broke out of habitual patterns of behaving and thinking. Realize that much of your stress is tied up in “the same old routine.” This is neatly summed up by the AA phrase, “Do what you’ve always done and you’ll get what you always got.” Don’t be too hard on yourself about this complacency. The refusal to try something new is the result of years of conditioning and pure exhaustion.

To break free, I suggest that you try a little ODD yourself. Consciously choose to buck the trends and set your own course, as in, “No I will not have fries with that, give me a side of another burger!” See how much fun it can be when you run contrary to popular opinion and “do your own thing” again. Make this as small or large as you feel comfortable with. The point that you're making is not that you can buck society’s conventions, but that you can disrupt your own. What you are rebelling against is the mind conditioning that forces you to see the world in the same way over and over again. To defy (literally "to renounce faith in") your thoughts this way is to break out of the prison of the false self and experience, again, the freedom that is your true self.