Say "Yes" to Yes

Remember this: no is ego fulfilling: yes is the method to discover the self.
Osho

This week’s personal stress strategy and technique was inspired by a recent trip my wife and I took to see the most adorable grandbaby in the world. For the uninitiated, Elizabeth Grace lives in Atlanta and is about to turn two years old. Among the many tasks facing Elizabeth at this age is the building of her ego. So it is that her current favorite word is “no.” This can be quite adorable in one so young, as the following exchange demonstrates:

Grandpa: Elizabeth, do you want to get your jammies on for bed?
Elizabeth: No. (Continues chasing the dog.)
Grandpa: Then do you want grandpa to read you a bedtime story?
Elizabeth: No. (Stops to pick up her doll baby.)
Grandpa: Do you want grandma to tuck you in?
Elizabeth: No. (Resumes chasing the dog.)
Grandpa: Do you want a big piece of chocolate cake before you go to bed?
Elizabeth: No. (Stops everything and realizing what she just said, begins to cry.)

This nay-saying mechanism is not so cute when it gets trapped in an almost 50 year old body, as demonstrated by the following exchange on the trip home:

Grandma: You want to stop for some coffee before we get going?
Grandpa: No. (Continues playing with the radio.)
Grandma: Then how about we stop to get something to eat, at least?
Grandpa: No. (Check GPS to make sure that he took the right exit.)
Grandma: How about . . ?
Grandpa: No. (Turns off radio in disgust that no one plays good Jazz anymore.)
Grandma: Tell me, does a diaper come with that attitude?
Grandpa: (In ignorant bliss) Did we pack any of that chocolate cake?

As Osho points out, “no” is food for the ego. Negation and resistance are the steroids that juice up our egos and keep them feeling in control. This is an essential developmental stage when we are young and there is no way around it. That’s why God created grandparents; to remind parents that “this, too, shall pass.”

The problem later in life is that “no” closes us off to the free flowing creative energy of the universe. The following technique is helpful in bringing us back into contact with this energy; spend a day saying “yes.” For twenty-four hours approach every situation with a "yes" attitude. Pay close attention to the feeling inside as you do this. Notice the pull toward the “no” and all of the reasons your mind will come up with to justify its reaction. Then notice the deep feeling of ease that comes with the “yes.” See how much easier it is to move through you day with acceptance rather than rejection.

A few quick caveats before you choose your day of yes. You might want to avoid used car salesmen, QVC and telemarketers. In addition, if you have kids you might want to tell them what you are up to and warn them that the yes only applies to the next 24 hours and that all decisions are rescinded with the following sunrise. No need to give away the farm with this one.