Santa Pause

Empty yourself of everything.
Let the mind rest at peace
Tao Te Ching

Stress is as much a part of holiday tradition as greeting cards, presents, and awkward moments at family gatherings. The conventional wisdom is that while this should be a time of peace on earth and good will towards men, it’s equally the time for discord and ill will.

How is it that a festive time turns into a carnival of tension and worry? Why is it that high blood pressure and tension headaches show up as much as eggnog and fruitcake? Does this have something to say about the holiday season, or is it a commentary on the way we see stress?

The holidays do not bring us stress; we bring stress to the holidays. If you look closely at the “gift” of inner tension, you will find that it was neatly packed, wrapped, and hand-delivered by none other than our self. This is very good news. It opens up the possibility that we can ask for, and if we have not been too naughty, receive, the present of inner peace this season.

Before going on, I want to share with you a Stressmas carol that I wrote to sum up how many of us feel as we move headlong into the not-so-silent nights ahead:
(Sung to the tune of Jingle Bells)

Jangled nerves, jangled nerves
Jangled all the day
Oh how sad it is to spend
Our holiday time this way

Dashing through the malls
With a cart that’s gone astray
Back to the bank we go
Crying all the way
Bells on registers ring
Making spirits sigh
Oh, what bills the mailman brings!
Why is my interest rate so high?

Jangled nerves, jangled nerves
Jangled all the day
Oh how sad it is to spend
Our holiday time this way

A day or two ago
I felt my chest grow tight
And very soon I found myself
Pacing through the night
I tried to get some sleep
But the fears they would not go
I knew I’d fallen deep
And never felt so low

Oh! Jangled nerves, jangled nerves
Jangled all the day
Oh how sad it is to spend
Our holiday time this way


Traditional stress reduction plans usually have four basic components. We are told that we should eat right, exercise, get plenty of sleep, and enjoy the company of others. If you are like me, you are looking at this list and feeling even more stressed out than before. The reason, of course, is that this list represents things that, for most of the year, feel barely within our control. The likelihood that they are going to become our standard mode of operation during the time frame between November and January is about the same as the likelihood that Santa will finally give us the high definition plasma TV we have been longing for rather than the lawn tool that will occupy our every weekend.

Don’t be dismayed merry gentlemen and women, there is another way to approach this time of the year. Contrary to many stress management techniques, the way out of this trap is not by struggling to get a hold of the stress Grinch that lurks in the shadows waiting to steal our holiday magic. It is by letting go of our habitual tendency to resist the world as it is. When we hold on desperately to the visions that dance in our head, we become frustrated when the world refuses to dance along. However, when we let go of the need for the holiday season, or any season for that matter, to conform to our preconceived notions, we discover a true miracle; life isn’t so bad when we actually live it rather than think our way around it.

This does not mean that we simply lie down and allow the yuletide sleigh to run us over. Moving into a state of “let go” does not mean we become victims of the wintry winds of fate. To the contrary, when we stop struggling against life we discover new options and energies. When we drop the notion that holiday stress is “out there” and see it as a routine mind creation, only decked out with bright lights and tinsel, we can actually do something to bring true joy to the season.

The next time you find that your holiday stress mug runneth over, try emptying it by asking yourself “what am I resisting at this very moment?” Look deeply into was is and see if you can hear the voice in your head saying, “this should not be.” Hit the pause button on this running commentary and you will find that all is calm; all is quiet.

In order to help you through the coming holidaze, I offer another revised Stressmas carol guaranteed to soften the heart of the most hardened Scrooge:
(Sung to the tune of Let It Snow)

Oh, the world outside if frightful
And everyone seems so spiteful
But since it’s no way to grow
I let it go, let it go, let it go
The stress it is not stopping
And my heart it feels like popping
But before I hit an all time low
I let it go, let it go, let it go

And when I finally see the light
Nothing seems quite so bad
When I let go of the fight
I discover the peace that I had

Now the fears are slowly dying
And my heart’s no longer crying
All I ever needed to know
Was let it go, let it go, let it go

Dharma Dawg

The true guru will never humiliate you, nor will he estrange you from yourself. He knows you need nothing, not even him, and is never tired of reminding you.
Sri Nisargadatta Maharaj

Faithful readers of this blog know that in times of inner turmoil I turn to my online guru the venerable Swami Rama Ding Dong. After discovering him on the Gurus R Us webpage, I have routinely sought his sage advice. It seems that I am no longer alone in my admiration for the Swami. Demand is so high that he no longer offers private audiences. So it was that I found myself being redirected to the Cyber Ashram site to join in a chat room where other like-minded seekers took turns asking questions of the wise master. Here is the transcript of my last session. (To keep track of me you need to know that I go by the screen name Dharma Dawg.)

Host: Thanks for joining Swami Rama Ding Dong in the Cyber Ashram. Please keep your questions brief and do not expect long answers. The Swami’s arthritis has him in a bad way.
Taoboy: Swami Rama Ding Dong, I find that I am more confused than when we last chatted. How do I know that the path I have taken is the right one? It so often feels wrong.
Swami: What, not even a “Hey how are you?” Is this always going to be about you and your endless search?
Taoboy: I’m sorry, you’re right. How are you?
Swami: I am not a self, so your question has no meaning.
Zenhead: Swami, how should we meditate?
Swami: You might as well ask “How should I circulate my blood?” or “How do I digest my food?”
Zenhead: Oh, ok. How should I circulate my blood and digest my food?
Swami: You’re new to this stuff aren’t you? The meditative state is your true state. There is nothing you need to do to reach the true state but drop the false.
BlisslessinSeattle: Swami, why do we suffer?
Swami: I think it has a lot to do with cable TV. I mean how many more reality shows do we need? (lol) Seriously, you suffer because you take yourself to be the body, which is subject to the law of opposites. Good, bad, healthy, unhealthy, rich, poor, Republican and Democrat. Give up this idea and be one.
ReincarNate: Swami, I’ve been practicing crystal based, past life, non-self anti-behavioral therapy. I have discovered that in a previous incarnation I insulted the Buddha by suggesting he shed a few pounds. Since then, my lives have been full of misery. How do I break free from this karmic trap?
Swami: I’m gonna need you to step away from the incense and take a deep breath of reality, new age boy. Find out who you are in this life and the question of past lives will be dropped.
DharmaDawg: Why am I such a worrier?
Swami: Worry is not your nature, peace is your nature. It’s because you take yourself to be your thoughts that you believe yourself to be a worrier.
DharmaDawg: Ok, I get the whole, “I’m not my thoughts” thing, but thoughts still happen and many of them are troubling. How can simply telling myself that these thoughts are not me make them stop?
Swami: Why do you want them to stop?
DharmaDawg: Because they are worrisome.
Swami: Are they?
DharmaDawg: Was that rhetorical?
Swami: Was it?
DharmaDawg: Cut it out.
Swami: Sorry, just trying to lighten the moment. Go into this idea of worry. Who is it that worries? Isn’t it still the worrier that worries? What would you expect from a worrying mind?
DharmaDawg: Ok, worry is an idea and worrying about worry is just another idea, but how do you make it stop?
Swami: Forget making it stop, just stop clinging, that is all. Your very effort to control it gives it power.
Buddhababe: Swami, could you upload a picture of yourself so that we might meditate on your image?
Swami: I don’t normally do this, as I am beyond the needs of the ego, but you seem like a good crowd. Here it is …

Buddhababe: I knew it.
Taoboy: You are my God!
ReincarNate: I loved you in O Brother Where Art Thou.
Zenhead: Any plans for Oceans 14?
DharmaDawg: You’re a sick bastard, Swami Rama Ding Dong.