Opposites Attach

Therefore having and not having arise together. Difficult and easy complement each other. Long and short contrast with each other; High and low rest upon each other; Voice and sound harmonize each other; Front and back follow one another. --Tao Te Ching

To find healing in situations that, at first glance, seem to only inflict suffering, we have to move beyond the Western notion of “either/or.” The Newtonian model of the universe teaches that everything has been put together like a machine and the parts are good or bad, working or not working, and desirable or undesirable. Once the mind bites this apple of the knowledge of good and evil, all hell breaks loose.

Most of us understand that the world comes at us in waves of opposites. We know that there are “good times” that are often followed by “bad times.” We know that coins have two sides, and we get the concept that once you climb up a mountain you have to come down again. Stress shows up because the mind thinks it can, and needs to, gain mastery over the world by eliminating one of the opposites. We see the polarities of the world and think, “I like this end of the stick, but I’m not really happy with the other end.” Thus, we spend untold energies trying to rid ourselves of some thing in order to get this other thing.

This act of separating the world is so entrenched in our collective history, and so deep within our personal psyches, that most people genuinely do not know there’s another way of looking at things. Educated and indoctrinated into the cult of “this or that,” many people cannot even imagine a whole unified world, let alone a complete sense of self.

So much of stress is the result of trying to pry apart things that actually compliment each other. It is the mind that sees contrast and competition and it sends the ego—the false self created to meet the challenges of the material world—out to do its dirty work. The reality is that there is no split, except in our heads. We are all, to greater or lesser degrees, schizophrenic—torn between reality and fantasy.

To discover the healing power of stress we simply have to heal the split within; no longer tear ourselves to pieces in an attempt to find the good bits among the ruins. We are only in our “right minds” when we’re whole. When we stop carving up our lives into what seems like easily digestible pieces, we will begin to feel holy—free of wound or injury—again. Once we realize that opposites are not truly in opposition to each other, that they actually support each other, we will no longer feel the deep sense of dread when we find ourselves at one pole or the other. When we say “yes” to the natural order of things, life stops saying “no” to us. By simply blessing the ups and the downs, we turn struggle into surrender and resistance into acceptance.