Just Desserts: The Stress of Good Times

If people can dance a little more, sing a little more, be a little crazier, their energy will be flowing more and their problems will, by and by, disappear.
Osho

A quick glance at the standard stress tests that identify levels of inner tension reveals something interesting that people may not think twice about. Nestled amongst the obvious stress-producing events such as “loss of job,” “death of a loved one” and “major illness” are such things as “marital reconciliation,” “vacation,” and, I swear I’m not making this up, “outstanding personal achievement.” The conventional wisdom seems to be that not only do the things you try to avoid bring you stress but so do the very things that you work so hard to obtain.

If you examine the stressors associated with positive events in your life you will find mental demons lurking in the shadows. Take the example of getting married, which ranks only behind marital separation and death of a spouse on most stress scales. Is it possible that this union of two souls publicly vowing to love each other for all time could be the cause of so much tension? Stop smiling for a minute and consider the following: It is not the wedding itself that is the problem, it is the ever-worrying mind that spoils the show. Doubts about whether or not you have chosen the right life-partner aside, the stress of most weddings comes when the mind says “The flowers won’t arrive on time,” Uncle Jeb is going to get drunk, do his table dance and fall and break his other hip” or “What if the band plays only 80’s music?”

Look behind any of the positive stressors in your life and see if you do not catch a glimpse of the mind goblin that is secretly gnawing away at your enjoyment. Good stress is a result of the mind being an equal opportunity destroyer. With the mind, when it rains it pours and even when it’s sunny there is a chance that the harmful rays of the sun will leak through the depleting ozone layer and turn your tan into a third degree burn. Oh, the antics of the mind.

The notion that good times should come with a warning label is best summed up by the phrase “you can’t have your cake and eat it too.” As a Food Channel junkie I can tell you with authority that whenever someone makes a cake, somebody eats it. As further proof, while I am writing this blog I am eating a hostess cupcake sandwiched between two slices of devil’s food cake. I have even gone as far as countering with my own sentiment, “If you're not going to eat the cake, don’t bother to bake it.” The author Richard Bach was more eloquent when he addressed this issue by saying “the best way to pay for a lovely moment is to enjoy it.”

As the poet Hafiz pointed out, we were meant to “dance in this sweet world,” to experience the depth of its joy. So forget about the fact that desserts spelled backward is stressed, put down that stress questionnaire and take a big bite out of life. Feel free to wash it down with extra slice of chocolate cake; we now know that chocolate is good for you.